I need to talk about this, and as no one here knows anything about the situation I thought i'd use this as its as good a place as any to write things down and get my head straight. I'm still in dull shock.
I went out tonight and we started talking to this Italian guy. He said he knew another English girl who was here tonight and that she was from Birmingham. She was there later but it turns out that shes not from Birmingham but went to Leicester and was in the same halls as me! I didn't recognise her but she said she was in black block. Black block was the block where my friend Andy lived. I found out he was dead a while ago, there was a funeral and everything. He was one of my friends, although not a really close one it still affected me. I spoke to him alot online and I knew he didn't have the most mentally healthy ways of thinking so I was sure it was suicide. This was compounded by the fact that I knew he had tried before and that no one would tell me what happened. I cried the night I found out, and sporadically the next 2 days. This was during revision time and I found it difficult. I've thought about him occasionally during the time between then and now. The most recent being when my ipod played me alive by pearl jam (one of his favourite bands that I put on my ipod to remember him by).
Oh dear this isn't being very clear is it, sorry.
So I said that she must have known him and she said that yes she was one of his good friends. She told me what had really happened, even though she was tearing up. Basically him and his friends had a house party before exams to let their hair down before revising and exams. He got really drunk like most students do, and fell alseep on his back. This lead to him chocking on his own vomit. Really not the most pleasant way to go. His housemates found him in the morning.
I was saddened by this, but also pleased that it wasn't what I had originally thought. I'm glad that he was happy, and not in a self destructive hating mood that I had heard him in before. Despite this i'm still feeling very weird about it all. Its made even more bizzare by having found out in a nightclub in Bologna!! talk about the last place you expect to find out, and I had kind of given up on the idea that I was ever going to find out. I just needed somewhere to talk about it.
I hope sleep will help. I have a lecture at 11 tomorrow
Wednesdays day blog will be up tomorrow xx
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